The females of the species are more fraggish than the male.

It starts with “smack-talk.” Think of it as belittling and goading your opponent hip-hop-style, complete with undulating arms and pointing fingers. Originating on sports playing fields, smack-talk moved to online MMOG (massively multiplayer online game) arenas. Today, smack-talk is actively practiced by corporate types. And nothing is more amusing then corporate smack-talkers who publicly deride their competitor, then get punted in the gluteus maximus shortly afterward – by the very competitor they dissed and underestimated.

Of course, this is exactly what happened when smack-talkers from one of our competitors underestimated AMD a few months ago. Which is also why I try to avoid careless smack-talk and underestimating opponents when attending gaming events. However, I recall one instance when I did not – and the humiliation still reddens my cheeks today.

I was attending a LAN gaming event in Dallas setting up a graphics product launch promotion, when a startlingly beautiful young woman named Amy was introduced to me. She looked sweet, innocent, and nice, and had an unassuming manner that would put anybody at ease. It must have been something I said, because Amy declared she could beat me at any game, and punched my arm as hard as a man my size.

I am 6 feet tall and weigh-in at 290lbs, I played O-line, prop and lock in rugby, and actively compete in the Highland Games (hence the Cabrtosr sig). I also hold my own with fairly good PC gamers. I expressed my disbelief at Amy’s challenge, and broke up laughing. No way this girl could whip me. She must be joking. Unfortunately, she was not.

She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Amy beat me in Quake like I have never experienced before – even worse than when I played Jonathon (Fatal1ty). I literally fled to my hotel room afterward, worried that she might actually follow-up the pummeling by beating me at arm-wrestling or something. I saw Amy again a couple of years later at CES 2007, and sheepishly greeted her because I was still smarting from our last encounter. I was shocked when she informed me that she was “Amber” and that Amy was her twin sister. THERE WERE TWO OF THEM – and both specialized in fraggishly humiliating unsuspecting male gamers.

I tried to avoid Amy and Amber like the plague, but they finally caught me at Blizzcon 2008 in Paris. Suffice to say I lost to both in Quake 3, Guitar Hero, flipping for cash, picking numbers behind your back, hopscotch – you name it, they beat me in it. So, be warned. If you encounter them at a gaming event, you had better be wary of their superior gaming skills. If you tempt fate or engage in cocky smack-talk, I guarantee that Amy and Amber will give you the world’s worst wedgie!

Check out the Frag Dolls and PMSClan for more info on Amy and Amber – two of the most talented PC gamers on the planet, and wicked-scary to watch in action. One last thing, Amy and Amber are also auditioning for a gaming-oriented reality series – so stay tuned.

Cheers!

Ian “Cabrtosr” McNaughton

Ian McNaughton is senior manager of product and platform marketing EMEA at AMD. His postings are his own opinions and may not represent AMD’s positions, strategies or opinions. Links to third party sites are provided for convenience and unless explicitly stated, AMD is not responsible for the contents of such linked sites and no endorsement is implied.